Diet gone wrong

We've all felt the need trim up now and then, but what happens when those feelings take over our life? Joanna, 14, knows all too well.

I don't really know what started it. I think it was a diet gone wrong. All I know is that it was the biggest mistake of my life.

I decided one summer to shape up and lose a bit of weight so I began to eat more healthily and ran a few laps everyday.

Exercise taking over

At first it was ok and if I forgot to run some laps it didn't matter. But then I began to get terrified if I hadn't done enough. I spent all my time thinking about how I'd get fat and ugly.

I was eating a low fat diet and exercising compulsively. I was beginning to get exhausted so I thought I could do less exercise if I ate less. I cut my calorie intake down but I still didn't give up the exercise.

“I spent evenings crying because I was so hungry ”

Lowest

My lowest point was family Christmas dinner. I managed to eat some turkey and veg but the next day I only allowed myself to eat an apple and a potato. I passed out in the morning. It was the worst feeling in the world.

I'd spend evenings crying in my kitchen because I was so hungry and I couldn't find anything low calorie. I was living on about 800 calories a day and exercising like mad.

I was miserable but I still felt awful and fat. It was so confusing. I wanted to get better but not gain weight. I felt trapped by a vicious voice!

I'd drifted away from my friends because I'd never eat out with them and had no energy to talk to them at school

Help at last

Eventually my parents noticed and took me to see a doctor. I now see a therapist once a week and am slowly gaining weight but I still have to count every single calorie I eat otherwise I get really anxious.

It's going to be a long journey but I just want to say to anyone who is battling an eating disorder or may be beginning one; seek help. It may be scary at first but it's so much better than having to battle this alone.