Young carer

Kate* lives with her mum and her younger brother. But her mum is disabled, so Kate cooks, cleans and cares for the family. Kate is 14.

I started caring for my mum in December 2002, when I was 9. She has scoliosis (a curved spine) and arthritis, so she's often in pain and can't move around much. Sometimes it gets really bad and she has to stay in bed. My brother helps when he can, but he's only 11 and has to go to bed early on school nights.

So I'm in charge.

I do most of the tidying up, help mum with her bath and into bed, make sure she's comfy and takes the right pills, get her dressed, do the shopping and cook the meals. But I also watch Eastenders, go shopping with my friends and listen to music. I just don't do it every day.

Juggling school

My nan looks after my mum when I'm at school, but I still call and text from school to find out how mum is. I have to do it secretly or I get into trouble. We're not allowed mobiles at school.

If I know my mum's really ill, I stay off school. Mum always says that school's more important, but I panic if I don't know how she is. Mum asks me to do my homework straight after school when my brother can look after her, so I'm pretty much able to keep up.

“I get upset when my mum gets upset”

The teachers

Some of my teachers know I'm a carer, cos on parents evening they see that my mum's disabled and ask me who looks after her. But others don't know. If my mum's going through a bad patch and I haven't been able to finish my homework, I do tell the teachers why. Some of them let me off, but some of them just say I have to get it in on time anyway. Fair enough, I suppose.

Supportive friends

My friends are great. They ask me how my mum is and they do understand that I can't go out as often as they can, although I can tell it upsets them a bit too. I haven't experienced any bullying or prejudice cos I look after my mum. I suppose that's cos I'm just a normal teenager. I don't look different or act different. If you didn't know I was a carer, you'd think I was just like anyone else.

Future plans

I do think about the future. I'm going to stay on at school till I'm 18, then I want to be a hairdresser or care for children. I think I'll be able to do it. I'll have to ask my nan to look after mum, and when nan can no longer do it my brother will be able to help, and I guess I'll still do a lot of it too. But that's fine.

Sometimes I get frustrated cos I get so tired, and I get upset when my mum gets upset, but overall I'm glad I'm able to help my mum so much. If I had one wish, it'd be for my mum to get better. But at least we have loads of time to talk - and we talk about everything. I wouldn't change her for anything.