"Raped by my brother"

Joanne loved having an older brother - until he started forcing her to have sex with him...

“He followed me in and locked the door”

I was only ten when my mum and dad broke up. It left me feeling all messed up inside. It was really hard on my mum, especially when he started dating my aunty. After that the whole of our family fell to pieces and my mum struggled to cope. Money was tight and we ended up in bad debt - everything was such a mess.

But my mum's a real fighter and she managed to find a job and get back on her feet after a while. At work she met Tim, he was a really nice guy and helped us a lot. They fell in love and it was so nice to see mum happy again.

Happy New Family?

I was traumatised and petrified

When I was 10 we moved in with Tim and his 15-year-old son, Gavin. I loved having an older brother. Me and Gavin got on great we spent hours together climbing, skating, or grubbing around looking for frogs and toads.

One afternoon when I was 13 Gavin came running over and told me he'd found an injured bird in the garden that we should help. We both dashed over to where he said it was, but there was nothing there. I was confused, but before I could ask him why he lied he pushed me into the shed. He followed me in and locked the door.

How it Started

“I remember screaming, but no one heard”

At first I just thought he was playing around, but he grabbed me and started ripping my clothes off, kissing and touching me. It was horrible, I remember screaming, but no one heard. I tried really hard to stop him, but when I fought back he slapped and pushed me. Afterwards he threatened me and told me not to tell anyone. I was so scared and confused that I did what he said.

I tried not to be alone with Gavin after that, but sometimes mum and Tim would go out and then it would happen again. Sometimes he didn't do anything, but usually he did. I became more and more traumatised and petrified each time.

“I was full of anger and became violent”

After a couple of months, my behaviour changed. I was full of anger and became violent and had to go to counselling. In the end mum sat me down tried to get me to explain why I was acting that way... I'd had enough, I blurted everything out - even though Gavin was right there.

My mum was horrified and so was Tim. Gavin told them I was making it all up, so it was confusing for them. Especially Tim - who would want to believe their son was a rapist?

But the Ordeal Didn't End...

It was really creepy

I thought it would all be over now and I could go back to being a normal teenaged girl again, but Gavin hadn't finished with me yet. He came into my room and started talking to me softly and stroking my hair, it was really creepy.

He told me he was going to prison. He said, "This is going to be the last time you see me? Are you happy?" And then he raped me again. I didn't scream, I was so used to it. It seemed almost normal and routine.

Happiness at Last

When mum and Tim realised that both me and Gavin weren't around they rushed to find me. Tim burst into my room and saw what was going on. Gavin couldn't deny it now.

“I thought it would all be over... But Gavin hadn't finished with me”

Finally, after two years of abusing me, Gavin got what he deserved and was sentenced to three years in jail.

Tim doesn't speak to Gavin now because of what he did and the lies he told, and I don't think he ever will again. Since Gavin left I don't feel like being violent anymore and we all get on well together as a family.

I'm so glad I told mum about what Gavin was doing to me - no one should ever keep something like that to themselves. I'm happy now and I feel like I've got a good future ahead of me. I try to look forward, not back.