Welcome

Hello, and welcome to my blog! I'm not sure exactly what I'll be writing about, but with the project I've been working on for the past 7 months recently announced, I felt compelled to finally start one. Of course, it has taken me almost a week to get my blog up and running - more on that in future blog entries...

Serchie

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My mate killed herself

Kelly, 16, met Sonia on her first day at her new school, after that things were never the same for her...

I've always been shy and quiet and, on my first morning at my new school, I hadn't spoken a word to anyone except the teacher during registration.

I still remember that my first lesson was maths with Mrs Wilson. No one came to sit next to me. The rest of the class filed in one by one finding seats by to their friends, and soon the only empty chair left in the room was the one by me.

Miss popularity

Then a girl sauntered in apologising for being late and practically the whole class turned to say hi to her. I was startled when she came and took the chair next to me, but her friendly smile told me I didn't need to be anxious.

“Sonia was everything I wasn't”

Sonia was everything I wasn't - outgoing, popular, fashionable - but she was such a nice person she didn't seem to care and we became friends, and soon after we were best friends.

Sonia really helped bring me out of myself, I used to worry so much about what other people were thinking, but she taught me that what I thought about myself was the most important thing. Everyone liked her, and when they saw us together people started to wanting to be my friend too.

Bezzie mates

We'd been best friends for a year when, one day, at the start of year 9 this boy from year 11 came over and said that his mate, Martin, wanted to go out with Sonia.

Images posed by models: My best friend killed herself

I thought Martin looked really scrubby, but Sonia said she'd go on a date with him. And after that he became her boyfriend.

I never liked him, but it was obvious Sonia saw something in him so I didn't ever tell her. Sometimes I wonder if things might've been different if I had.

After a few months I noticed Sonia starting to change. I'd never seen her cry before but she started phoning me regularly in tears because he'd said or done something to upset her.

Bad boyf

She started getting suspicious about his friendship with his ex girlfriend, who was real cow to Sonia and even pushed her over one day. He kept saying nothing was going on but Sonia thought there was and one day she went over to his house and found them kissing in the back garden.

“I noticed marks and bruises on her skin”


Sonia was devastated and I got really worried about her. But she soon got back to her old self again. Just as that happened Martin asked her out again though, saying how much he missed and was sorry about the "one off" with his ex.

This time she acted like everything was going well, but I started to notice bruises and strange marks on her skin. I kept asking what they were and, when she ran out of excuses, she told me that Martin sometimes push and hit her and had even bitten her!

Sonia only told me because I promised not to tell. So I kept it to myself. I tried really hard to persuade her to break up with Martin, but she said she loved him and couldn't stand being without him.

Probably because I kept going on about how she should finish with Martin, Sonia stopped phoning me. And over the summer holidays we kind of grew apart.

Telling the dark secret

Images posed by models: My best friend killed herself

After the holidays Sonia had lost a lot of weight. She looked pale. And in PE I noticed that her legs were more bruised than ever. We started to become close again and she told me that Martin was having problems with his family, his dad was an alcoholic and beat him up sometimes. She thought that was why he was so mean to her.

I couldn't let it go on any longer, so when I knew she was at Martin's house I went and told her parents what had been going on. Her mum and dad were furious and went right over to Martin's and bought her home and banned her from seeing him.

Sliding down

The few next days at school I thought Sonia was angry at me for being the cause of her not being able to see Martin because she didn't speak to me, but I found out afterwards that she was just really depressed and had hardly spoken to anyone.

“I didn't realise how horrific it would be”

I got called out of class by the school counsellor. I guessed it must be bad news, but I didn't realise how horrific it would be. Sonia had been found dead that morning. She had hung herself with a belt.

It was hard to believe that someone who used to be so full of life couldn't have ended so low. I blamed Martin completely and, at the service we had for her at school the next day, I totally laid in to him on the way out. It was like I'd gone crazy. "You hurt her, and you two timed her, and she loved you and you never even appreciated her!" I yelled.

Moment of understanding

Martin just stood there in shock looking at me. Then tears came into his eyes and all he could say was "I'm sorry" over and over again.

Then something amazing happened. He reached over and hugged me, and started to cry. I realised then that Martin had lost someone too and in a way, we were both in the same situation. I felt so close to him that I hugged him back and said, "I'm sorry too."

He talked to the school counsellor about his problems at home and about Sonia and what happened when she was alive and how he felt after she died. I think it was even harder for him to lose her than it was for me.

Martin lives with his grandparents now and I count him as one of my best friends. It's just a shame it took such a tragedy to bring us so close.

No comments: