My bullying hell

Sarah suffered terribly at the hands of a bully. She emailed us her harrowing story...

It started when I was about 13, I think. At first it was just verbal abuse; taunting, teasing, name-calling and the like. I never really thought much about it, because I just assumed Tom was doing it to everyone else, that it was normal. But as time went on Tom's behaviour towards me got worse.

He would throw things at me in class, spread horrible rumours about me, and he even hacked into my school email account. I told the school mentor, but she said nothing could be done.

I believed and trusted her fully. had to, what else could I do? It got worse though, much worse. He waited for me outside my lessons, and would leave me bruised and bleeding. My friends saw this happening, and used to stand around me to stop Him hurting me, but we were all girls, and no match for someone of his size.

Besides, they couldn't protect me all the time, we had different lessons. It was worse when I was with my friends, at least when I was on my own HE would just beat me and leave me, I knew if there were others there HE wouldn't be satisfied, and would wait for me outside school. It was all so horrible. I kept thinking "Why does he hate me so much?" He made me think there was something wrong with me.

“I actually wanted to die”

Admitting the problem

I'd told my mum when it first started, but she had dismissed it. She assumed he had a crush on me. I was so appalled that she could think that. I didn't want to tell her after that. Shortly after that she was briefly taken into hospital so I had to go and stay with my auntie.

I broke down and told my auntie everything. She was very understanding, and I made her promise not to tell anyone, but I know she called my mum that night. After a few weeks of my mum asking "Are you okay?" and "Where are all these bruises from?" I told her too. She called the school immediately and asked to have him punished, and that was that.

Not over

Well, not quite. Tom was so angry that I had told someone that he followed me from my last lesson and pushed me down the stairs and punched me in the stomach. A teaching assistant pulled him off me and he ran away. Because of all the witnesses and how severe everything was, I had to write a statement and have my mum pick me.

When I got home I just cried and cried. I actually wanted to die. My mum was so worried and upset she called my dad (they are divorced) who was so angry that this could happen in the very place that is supposed to be safe for children. He spoke to me and told me everything would be okay, and that because the school had done nowhere near enough to punish Tom, we should involve the police.

Protecting myself

I didn't want to, I was scared that it would make everything worse, that Tom would find some way to hurt me more. But I agreed. The police officer came to my house the next day, he said I should write a statement of all the attacks, and asked about what I thought should happen next.

The officer also said to me that I should consider a restraining order, but that would not apply at school which was where I needed it most. In the end, the police visited Tom and parents, and he was given an official warning. I was also moved away from him in all my classes and he was given a week in isolation.

That was over three years ago now, but I think it will affect me for the rest of my life. I still shudder when I hear Tom voice, or I hear someone say his name. I hate being on my own, and I can't walk anywhere within school without being reminded of what happened. He made me scared of my own shadow, and although I'm a lot more comfortable with myself I will never forget."